Thursday, February 12, 2015

50 Shades of Kae

Excuse the crude title, but there's not much else I can make of this movie that succeeds the 100 million copies that sold hot about four years ago. I remember some friends harping on about this book, (yes they were female), and it got me curious......nearly to the point I was about to read the book for myself. So before you read on, yes, I may not be qualified to make a knee-jerk reaction to this film, but give me a moment to explain myself.

In these reviews that my friends talked of, I heard more about the character "Christian Grey" and how he was an alluring, control-freak, but successful businessman who had seduced an innocent, naive young woman into his web of sadomasochistic shenanigans. 

By all appearances he seems like a charmer, however, he's a dude with some serious issues, and his hooking up with "Anastasia" by all reviews appear to be the bait that got all these readers hooked. Heck! I read an article the other day about this Australian woman who claims that the novel saved her from her post-natal depression.....STRAYA! So it can't be all that bad.

But here's why I'm calling it out as kae. Because if it looks like kae, and it smells like kae, then it is kae. There's a community of men like myself who are trying to pass on the old traditions of what it is to be a man, chilvary and honour are some of the dying traits and it needs to be preserved. The importance of chilvary, utter most respect for your mother,  how to respect women, looking out for your sisters, and I think you get my drift, but then jokers like Christian Grey appear on the scene and women find him fascinating? It sends mixed messages to blokes like me (ladies are masters at this).

If any bloke like Christian Grey even got within a 5km range of my precious daughter, his surname will change from Christian Grey to Christian Black-Eyes, because he's a misrepresentation of what it means to be a man. If he represents what women fantasise about, then should we get upset when we see a flurry of Christian Grey copycats? Is this why some women suffer from returning  to their abusers? (Shall we open this pandoras box?) I'm tempted to take and assume some angles on this but I'll keep it strict to the point that Christian Grey needs a hiding. 

If  Anastasia was Samoan, this movie would've been a good action flick. No need for car chase scenes, just scenes where a guy in a fancy suit is getting chased by brown dudes wearing a skirt.....and the brown dudes cousins.....and their cousins cousins.....yeah something like that.

But this is not a rant about stopping you from seeing the film (but save yourself the coin) it's about the attack on giving a subtle mandate for men to be high-class white collared jerks. That sex and bondage stuff I'll never understand, but damn that's messed up man.

Let's not get it twisted, Christian Grey is not the man you want to bring home to mama. He needs to come and hangout with a bunch of us lads, sip on some koko and unlearn the things that he's learned. And if that doesn't work,........then he'll have to learn the hard way. Okay rant over.

One more........ I'm sick of the constant disruptions of that stupid trailer on YouTube when all my daughter wants to see is Peppa Pig!